breathe me

The winds carry the secrets

Of the world

The secrets of my soul

A voice that doesn’t make a sound

Loud and clear

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Crimson Delight

In that moment when the butterfly’s wings flap

that moment in which the thunder claps

she greets me- lighting up the sky blue and white

eyes never leaving mine- boring right through me

free falling under the sun- into the skies i run

to the moon- my first destination

of isolation

my celestial quest

to thank my mother for the natural flowing tides

that crash within me- love piercing through me

pit stop destination- the enchantment

these allusions reaching out from behind my eyes and gripping my reality

she trembles- desperate cries of the aged old lies

across the coastal horizon no measure to define the separation of land and sky

a rainbow sea of pink an purple lighting my eyes those puffy clouds

to rest my heavy soul- a reminder of my being

a mirror of space and time- endless, infinite

i dare to dive deep within myself

blazing, she drifts away higher than one’s eye can see

Velma

 

velma

your pretty little hands on my soul

dip your hands and touch the skies

pulsing your fingers into the stars

i was hiding through the mania

behind my forced smiles and empty hellos

remind me of what i was

who i was – no more

no longer the girl from yesterday- a memory of a thought

that lives beyond the boundaries of time and space

i have lived an eternity-

escaping the vision of the hand in the morgue

the disaster of my crisis – the death of she

the evolution of my essence- the bearing of all the lives

i have lived

paving the paths to the gardens of my soul

in spring i come home

Labryinth

Why do we insist on living like this? When will we allow ourselves to come alive? We distract our minds with everyday things that fill a void.

A void so deep. We do not take the time to understand, or to even acknowledge that there is such a thing.

How then, I ask, are we to become alive?

We spend so much time lost in the labyrinth, trying to devise a plan to escape.

Lost.

Imagining how amazing it will be to be free. Imagining what our future holds for us once we manage to escape. This fuels us to continue on fighting and continue to put a void on the present.

 

By all means, comment below. Your critiques are welcome, although your compliments are nice they won’t make me a better writer. 

Looking Lense 

For quite some time I was led to believe that we have only one, single self. That there is one personal identity for each and every one of us. If I am a calm and shy person then that is who I am, that is who I am deep down to the core. But I was wrong. There is no core within us that tells us who we are. There is no pre-designed “Me” that I am searching for. I am, instead, creating myself day by day. Utilizing the memories and experiences from my past, I am creating my personal identity.

In the past, I had thought I knew who I was and I had a strong belief that I would remain that same person throughout my life. Boy, was I wrong. I had failed to notice that I wasn’t going to remain the same person I was in high school once I entered adulthood, failed to realize that it was impossible. Impossible to remain the same person whilst experiencing new things every day.

I have been many selves. I have many selves.

Who I am doesn’t rest in my “core” but, instead it rests with my memories and experiences. So before you tell me how much I’ve changed or that I’m not acting like myself, don’t forget that you don’t know what I’ve gone through.

PAINFUL FREEDOM

Pain is something undesirable for everyone. It isn’t pleasant and does not bring joy. But I have come to the conclusion that I need pain.

Pain is necessary for growth. With pain I have learned to travel the paths that I have feared for so long.

I have learned things about myself that I did not know existed. Things I have always dreamt of. With pain I have fallen hard. An old piece of me has died.

Pain is not unique or different. But my own pain is unique because it is mine. Because my tears have felt the things no one else will know. These tears have freed my soul from my fears and lifted me.

I welcome pain into my life. I need it. Just as much as I need love.

My soul is more alive. More beautiful.

I have become the woman I have always needed to be. And I owe it all to my pain.