Velma

 

velma

your pretty little hands on my soul

dip your hands and touch the skies

pulsing your fingers into the stars

i was hiding through the mania

behind my forced smiles and empty hellos

remind me of what i was

who i was – no more

no longer the girl from yesterday- a memory of a thought

that lives beyond the boundaries of time and space

i have lived an eternity-

escaping the vision of the hand in the morgue

the disaster of my crisis – the death of she

the evolution of my essence- the bearing of all the lives

i have lived

paving the paths to the gardens of my soul

in spring i come home

Looking Lense 

For quite some time I was led to believe that we have only one, single self. That there is one personal identity for each and every one of us. If I am a calm and shy person then that is who I am, that is who I am deep down to the core. But I was wrong. There is no core within us that tells us who we are. There is no pre-designed “Me” that I am searching for. I am, instead, creating myself day by day. Utilizing the memories and experiences from my past, I am creating my personal identity.

In the past, I had thought I knew who I was and I had a strong belief that I would remain that same person throughout my life. Boy, was I wrong. I had failed to notice that I wasn’t going to remain the same person I was in high school once I entered adulthood, failed to realize that it was impossible. Impossible to remain the same person whilst experiencing new things every day.

I have been many selves. I have many selves.

Who I am doesn’t rest in my “core” but, instead it rests with my memories and experiences. So before you tell me how much I’ve changed or that I’m not acting like myself, don’t forget that you don’t know what I’ve gone through.