your pretty little hands on my soul
dip your hands and touch the skies
pulsing your fingers into the stars
i was hiding through the mania
behind my forced smiles and empty hellos
remind me of what i was
who i was – no more
no longer the girl from yesterday- a memory of a thought
that lives beyond the boundaries of time and space
i have lived an eternity-
escaping the vision of the hand in the morgue
the disaster of my crisis – the death of she
the evolution of my essence- the bearing of all the lives
i have lived
paving the paths to the gardens of my soul
in spring i come home
For quite some time I was led to believe that we have only one, single self. That there is one personal identity for each and every one of us. If I am a calm and shy person then that is who I am, that is who I am deep down to the core. But I was wrong. There is no core within us that tells us who we are. There is no pre-designed “Me” that I am searching for. I am, instead, creating myself day by day. Utilizing the memories and experiences from my past, I am creating my personal identity.
In the past, I had thought I knew who I was and I had a strong belief that I would remain that same person throughout my life. Boy, was I wrong. I had failed to notice that I wasn’t going to remain the same person I was in high school once I entered adulthood, failed to realize that it was impossible. Impossible to remain the same person whilst experiencing new things every day.
I have been many selves. I have many selves.
Who I am doesn’t rest in my “core” but, instead it rests with my memories and experiences. So before you tell me how much I’ve changed or that I’m not acting like myself, don’t forget that you don’t know what I’ve gone through.